Happiness is Real When Shared

Yesterday I took my mom over a book called "Water for Elephants."  I started reading it the other day and it's one of those books that draws you in and makes you want to keep going.  One of the things I love best is sharing books with other people.  This reminds me of a quote from a movie called "Into the Wild" that I saw back in 2007.  "Happiness is real when shared."  It's sort of like seeing a really great movie and having no one to tell and discuss it with or getting a great mark in school and not having anyone to tell.  Things just feel a little emptier or less exciting when you can't share them with someone.

The Lung Association

There are many things in life we take for granted.  For most of us breathing easily is one of them, but for many thousands of people living with asthma, lung cancer, COPD and other diseases of the lung, breathing is not always easy.  The Lung Association of Saskatchewan provides patient support and services to many people suffering with lung disease as well as provide education to the public and schools.  Today I sent a small donation to the lung association.  Every little bit helps.

Stay warm fellow Saskatchewanians!

Warm Houses

Today I am thankful for a warm house and hot baths.  I went to the movie Black Swan tonight and I think the temperature must have dropped by 10 degree while were were there!  Black Swan was very dark and was a tad creepy but overall I thought it was great.  The acting was very good and it makes you think.

16

I had an upsetting encounter today with some guy in a red van who apparently has a bit of road rage.  While parked at a red light, looking down at something in the car,  I missed the light turning green.  After a few seconds, I was startled at the sound of a long stream of honking that went on for 4 entire blocks as he drove along side me, glaring and motioning with his hands.  He even swerved into the lane ahead of me as we approached another red light and sat there honking.  I was seriously afraid he would get out of his red van and come talk to me.  I CANNOT believe how something as crazy as that can wreck my night and get me this rattled.  I'm not sure if he thought I was on my cell phone (which, for the record, I wasn't) or what his problem was exactly.  And I needed to vent to red van guy, in case he's reading this, to GET A LIFE! Whew.  That feels better lol  And apparently I need to get a life for letting the crazies of the world get to me so easily.

Now...after having vented that, I have to tell you about my day and why, for the most part, it was pretty special.   I ran many errands, one of them being getting a new vehicle registered for my baby, who is turning 16 in a week!  It was going to be a surprise and I wasn't sure how I was going to pull it off.  She was at a friends house in the afternoon and my husband texted her and told her he was picking her up to come home for dinner.  I rode along with him and when we got outside the house, he texted her and told her he was there.  She texted back and said she'd be right out.  I sat in the back seat, leaving the drivers seat open for her.  My camera was ready as I saw her coming out of the house.  She walked toward the vehicle, uncertain maybe if that was us inside, as the vehicle wasn't familiar to her.  She got in and had this beautiful grin on her face and a hesitancy in her voice that was saying "is this for me?," but her spoken words were "what's going on?"  My husband looked at her, smiling, and said a very loving "Happy Birthday Bailey."  I took a picture of the grin and excitement on her lips and in her eyes and my heart was filled with so much love and admiration of the beautiful young woman I've raised.  16.  Oh my god, where has the time gone?  Where did my little strawberry blonde, wavy haired girl go? Waves of love, excitement and fear rush over me as I picture her out in her vehicle, on her own, exploring the world.  Happy Birthday my beautiful girl.  Have fun exploring and be safe.  Words cannot begin to express what you mean to me and how much you are loved.

Give

I was watching a new talk show with Piers Morgan who was hosting an interview with Oprah.  He was discussing her friendship with her long time friend, Gayle.  Oprah was saying that she wishes for everyone to have a friendship with a woman that has been that deep and meaningful in her life.  It made me reflect on my own relationships with women over the years and I am grateful for the friendships I've had and have.

She also discussed what her life has been about and how she would define herself.  She talked about how she feels she is an instrument through which she can help others achieve more and have a better life.  I've watched Oprah for years and I really think that's true about her.  She is a great humanitarian and Piers mentioned on the show that she has given away over 3 million dollars of her own money to worthy causes.  Oprah said that it is far higher than that.

You don't have to have billions of dollars, like Oprah, in the bank to give.  You can be a Gandhi or a Mother Teresa and have nothing, and still give.  Today I am grateful for all the giving souls all over the world who help enrich people's lives.  I know this has been a recurrent theme in my latest posts but it seems that everywhere I turn lately, I'm reminded of it.

Valentines

I was in WalMart yesterday doing some errands.  I hadn't eaten anything for breakfast so decided to stop into McDonalds for a quick bite.  While I was in line, I noticed a little girl behind me who wouldn't have been more than 3 years old.  She sort of reminded me of one of my girls at that age.  I purchased my meal and at the same time I bought 4 books of "Valentines" in which each included 8 free coupons for $1.00 !!!  3 free cones, 3 free fries and 3 free drinks.  The catch is that they have to be used by kids 12 or under.  I turned to the mom of the little girl in line and asked if I could give her a book of Valentines.  She said yes and the little girl took them and thanked me.

This morning I went down to the river to take some pictures as I'm in a photography class and I have a homework assignment coming due on Tuesday.  I've been driving around for the last week with bags of bottles to take to the recycling depot but haven't made it there yet.  My husband had an idea that we should drop them off in a back alley where we've seen a lot of people looking for bottles in the garbage bins.  So on the way home we dropped the bottles off.  I hope someone who really needs them finds them for a little bit of extra cash.

Tomorrow is Monday....sigh.  The weekends never seem long enough do they?

Movies

Last night I went out to a movie called the King's Speech.  It was the first time in probably 15 years or more than I've gone to a movie with someone other than my husband.  20 years ago I had one of my first panic attacks in a theatre while watching Robo-Cop.  When you have a severe panic attack in a place, your mind sometimes associates that place with danger and wants to avoid it.  Of course I know it's not the place that's the problem...it's messed up memories and associations.  Even when I get to a movie with my husband I usually spend the first half an hour on edge and have even hyperventilated through an entire movie.  That is exhausting lol

So last night was a huge success.  I went with my sister and I didn't feel anxious at all!  I'm hoping it's the first of many new trips to the movie theatre and maybe other places that cause me trouble.

I am thankful for my beautiful sister who has always been there for me.  Thanks for going to the movies with me and letting me pick the outside seat and soooo close to the front near the exit lol  You're the best and I love you!

Give More Than You Take

Tonight I had a meeting with some people I met last year.  They were instrumental in helping me put on a variety show to raise money for an amazing charity in our Province.  They are helping again this year and I am thrilled.  They put in so many hours of their time and I am truly thankful and grateful to them and like minded people who give of themselves to help others.  The number of lives that are enriched and saved through these types of efforts all over the world are countless.

Today I read an article about how to live a meaningful life.  There were 5 key factors in achieving this.  Guess what number 5 was?  It was "Give more than you take."   It went on to say how gratifying it can be to give, even if it's in the smallest of ways, and to be of service to others.

Beautiful.

Coward

Last night my hubby and I went to get a few groceries.  I remembered that earlier on in the day I had been to the drugstore and they had a promotion on and I ended up with a free $10 gift card to Tim Hortons.  When I entered the grocery store, I immediately started to scout out who I might give the card to.  As I did, I just started feeling more and more nervous.  Who imagined that it would be so hard to just walk up to a stranger and give them a gift?  I've struggled with this in the past but didn't think it would be such an issue last night.

Finally we had everything we wanted and I still hadn't given the card away.  I even gave it to my husband at one point and pleaded "pleeeease give this to that man over there."  He laughed and said "YOU do it!"  Well....I just couldn't.  I couldn't get up the nerve.  We were walking out of the store and I commented on how hard it was to approach someone and I wasn't sure why.  He replied that it was hard for him too.

So I sat in a freezing truck after we'd loaded the groceries, waiting for it to heat up a little, when I had an idea.  Someone had pulled up beside me in the parking lot and went into the store.  We waited until the person was far enough away so that he wouldn't see me, and then I slipped the card under his windshield.

Feeling like a coward, I drove home.  A coward...but a happy one.

Surprises

Last night I put a little treat in my daughter's mailbox.  In one other post I talked about how, at Christmas, I had bought this little tin that looked like an old fashioned mailbox.  It has a plastic little flag that you put up when there's something inside.  It's fun to get little surprises once in a while just because.

Yesterday I was very thankful for getting a parking spot just outside a building I had a 3 hour photo class in.  It's been a very cold week and the thought of having to walk more than a block worried me.  I think it's supposed to warm up by the end of the week and go from -35C with the windchill to -5C.  Only in Saskatchewan.....sigh......

Your Priorities Are Not Other People's Priorities

Have you noticed how life throws lessons at you?  Sometimes you ignore them and sometimes, after the lesson has been thrown at you several dozen times, you finally get it,   I've never been a very organized person and not very good at keeping up with relationships that needed to be tended to.  And it's ironic how at times I've been upset when someone hasn't gotten back to me to say thank you or called when I thought they would have or been careless with my heart.  I heard a quote a few months ago and I think it was Sharon Osbourne that said it.  She was on the Apprentice and was commenting about other people's lack of not getting back to her about important things.  She said something that I haven't forgotten.  "Your priorities are not other people's priorities."

It's easy to feel a sense of urgency in getting an answer or to expect something of others, but simply put, you are not always high on someone else's list of priorities.  They have lives that are as busy and as complicated as yours is.  But today I wanted to make someone who I've recently met feel like they are a priority and important.  I sent them a card thanking them for a visit and lunch.  Even if you aren't always a priority in someone's life, it sure feels good when they make you feel like they are.  And it doesn't take much.  A card, a call, a text or even a hello on facebook.  Make people feel special and worthy today...it only takes a second.

Health Care

Today was an eventful day but not the good kind.  My daughter got up too quickly in the morning from bed and ended up fainting.  After a lot of fluids and questions and tests, she is fine.  It was determined that basically her blood pressure drops more than it should upon rising and in some people it can result in fainting.  It's fairly common and was told to eat more in the morning and maybe even increase her salt take a little. The biggest problem was that she hit her head on the way down and ended up with a mild concussion.

Tonight I extremely grateful for our health care system and for the prompt and thorough care my girl received today.

Heros

Jordon Rice, 13, was terrified of water and yet when a rescuer tried to save him from the top of a vehicle in a city outside of Brisbane, Australia, while flood waters gushed all around them, Jordon told the rescuer to take his younger brother, Blake, first.  Blake, 10, survived the waters that day, thanks to his brother, but Jordon and his mom did not.  By the time the rescuer took Blake to safety, the vehicle had been swept away and Jordon and his mom, Donna, drowned. Today Jordon is being called a tragic hero in the City of Toowoomba, Australia where flooding has devastated the City.

Courage in the face of fear helps define a hero and today I am grateful for the many heros in the world.  They help us live in safety and in peace.

Jordon Rice you are a brave young man and you will never be forgotten.

God bless you.

Angels

Tonight I made supper for some friends for their birthday.  I LOVE when someone cooks for me and it's one of the best things I like to receive.

For awhile tonight we watched very old home videos of our kids when they were about 3 and 5 years old.  Amazing.  I am thankful today that we taped them when they were little and can relive those moments.

I love you my little angels.

You've Been a Friend To Me

I've decided to change my blog a little.  Not necessarily change but expand on.  I've realized that not only is Kindness one way to feel good about oneself and to help others, but Gratitude is equally as important.  It's easy this time of year, in the middle of winter, and with all the negative things happening around us, to lose our perspective and appreciation for the good things in life that help us get by.  Some days I will write about Kindness and others will be focused on Gratitude.

I would love for people who read this to share their experiences on here for others to read and think about.  You don't have to sign up, but your comments can just be input as anonymous.  There are so many things to be grateful for that we don't think of during days that are filled with stress, but once you open yourself to the good things around you, your perception of life changes for the good.

Today I am incredibly grateful for the friendships and relationships I have in my life at this moment.  People who have touched my life and who I will never forget.  There's a song by Bryan Adams I want to share that describes how I'm feeling...please watch.  It's a catchy little song that I've found myself dancing around the living room to a lot this year lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=porI343Pwdc

Ride to School

A friend of one of my girls who she goes to school with had a rough weekend.  She was at cheerleading practice and had an accident and thought she fractured her pelvis.  She was on crutches all weekend, awaiting the results.  This same weekend she was also in a car accident with her dad, and their vehicle had to go to the shop to be repaired.  So this morning she really needed a ride.  Normally the girls take the bus to school as it's quite a distance from our house and eco-friendly, which the school promotes.  But today I drove them.

She hobbled out of her house when I picked her up, on her crutches, carrying her packpack and looking a little uncomfortable.  Kids are amazingly resilient and bounce back so quickly.  If I had a "broken" pelvis I'd be laid out for weeks.  I think most of us would.

Today she didn't have to worry about making it up the steps of the bus and sitting uncomfortable seats.  Today when I picked them up she told me she got the news that it isn't a fracture but just bruised, so she will be off the crutches much sooner.  Good news!

New Year's Thoughts

I've been wanting to write about my trip to Mexico since getting home.  Finally I've had some time to settle some things in my mind and share  a bit about my week there.

For the most part my acts of kindness were extra tipping at the resort we stayed at.  It was all inclusive but we left tips numerous times daily to the maids, waiters, hotel staff, baggage handlers and drivers.  We talked to one waiter who told us that they were 12 hour days and make $12 dollars, or $1 per hour as a base wage.  So they rely heavily on tips as their means of income.  Most of the people who work on the resorts commute together every morning from a place that houses the workers during their work week and they only see their wives, husbands and children two days a week when they aren't working.  I gave happily and was appreciative of how hardworking and pleasant the staff were.  And I am also grateful and appreciative of the wonderful life I have in Canada.

For a while before my trip I started to question why I was writing about my RAOK's.  In the beginning when I set out to do this, my hopes were to learn from the experience, push myself and try and help my anxiety and depression.  As well, I was hoping that if people read my blog that maybe it might inspire them to be kind and give ideas as all to the little ways we can be.  I have enjoyed writing so much and getting feedback from people.  My depression and anxiety come and go like the weather through all of this, many times with no rhyme or reason.  I can't say that doing acts of kindness have helped with either, but the experiences have been incredible.  They have helped me step outside my comfort zone many a time, and in the long run that is always a good thing.  

What I started feeling about documenting my acts of kindness every day was that it might come across as "oh..look what I did" in a boastful way.  On the days I felt anxious and had a hard time leaving the house and void of any creative spark, I would feel that it was a struggle to find something to do and then write about it.  For a while I didn't find my writing very exciting and I felt like I was letting people who read it down.  I also had many days where I would do something that maybe didn't feel as genuine or fun because I was just having a bad day, but did something anyway because of my commitment.  On those days I questioned whether the "act" was a good thing or not if it my heart wasn't in it.

So while I was on my trip I questioned whether to continue.  The bottom line is that I enjoy doing little things for people and I enjoy writing.  I hope that I never do come across as boastful or that I'm in any way better than anyone because I do this.  I have to put that out there.  I've never had a sense of that from any of the comments people have left in any way.  The comments have been amazing and I am so appreciate and thankful for them.  As for the question as to whether I should do something kind for someone if I'm not feeling up to it and it isn't given with excitement, well....the answer to that is yes.  No matter how you are feeling, give and be kind.  Even if you are in the worst mood and don't feel like doing one more nice thing for anyone, just do it.  The recipient of your kindness wouldn't question what kind of mood you are in, I think they would just be happy that someone did something nice.  Maybe even some days when you give but don't really feel like it, it means even more?

I guess what I'm saying is that I will continue along this journey because so far it's been an amazing experience.  Please bare with me on the days that I fall asleep before I could write or on the days where my writing is boring because I'm not in a good place that day.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for reading, writing and supporting me.  All the best to you and your families in 2011!

Busking

This morning I went down the the farmer's market.  It's a neat place to go on a Saturday morning when you don't sleep in.  The farmer's market is a place where people come to sell fresh produce, meats, baking and other home made goods.  I couldn't believe today that they still offered fresh carrots, beets and turnips and it's already January!  I'm wondering where this stuff is being grown.

Today there was a guy playing his guitar, singing and busking.  His guitar case laid beside him and he seemed to be doing quite well for himself as there was quite a bit of change inside.  He had a great voice and seemed to be so incredibly absorbed into his music that he didn't seem to be aware of the market and all the people bustling all around him.

I gave him a few dollars and ended up buying one of his CD's to support his effort.  Because of him I got to sit and enjoy my breakfast and listen to some great music.  Anyone who has the guts to perform in public deserves something for their efforts.

Coffee

Today I took my my mom for coffee. After a harried week of last minute shopping, getting ready for Christmas and then furiously packing to go away on boxing day,  my week in the sun cured any bit of depression I may have be holding onto.  But within a few days of returning, I was again feeling anxious, tired and little sad.  Coming home from sunny Mexico left me a little down and I've been harbouring myself in my house since my return. I'm sure I've heard studies that people get a little depressed around the holidays and coupled with the cold weather and lack of sunlight, it's been a double whammy.   I had to really force myself to leave the house today but it was good for me and I got to visit with my mom and my friend who owns the coffee shop where we went.  Sometimes I stay home because it feels easier but the rewards from pushing myself just a little a going out reaps huge rewards.

I have to admit I've had second thoughts on my blog and what I'm trying to accomplish.  I do want to write about that, but I will this weekend. At the end of every year I get very introspective and did a lot of thinking in Mexico.  I want to share it here.

Have a great weekend everyone : )

Neurotic Me

I am the worst person on the planet for ordering food or drinks.  I've driven through Starbucks many a time to order but the problem I have is with being incredibly indecisive.  Not being able to make up mind I think stems from wanting to venture out and order something new, but then worrying that if I get something new, I'll be disappointed and wishing I would have stuck to what I normally order.  Today was no exception and the conversation with the girl on the intercom went something like: "I'll have the white chocolate mocha.  Wait..can I make that a peppermint mocha?  No..wait...can i get a white chocolate peppermint mocha?  I can?  Okay...can i have that in a decaf, non-fat and half sweet?  Excellent.  I'll have a Venti.  No wait....make that a Grande.  Thanks."  It's ridiculous.  By the time I got through the drive through I'd already decided that I would give her a $10 dollar bill and tell her to keep the change for her trouble of having to listen to me.  She thanked me and now I am home enjoying my very neurotic Starbucks drink.

I haven't written in some time since the holidays and being back from Mexico, but promise to tomorrow.  I've done a lot of thinking about my blog and my feelings towards it and want to share it with you.

Happy New Year everyone!  2011 is going to be a great year...I can feel it.